Who Told You That Joy Was the Enemy?

An Exercise in Reclaiming Your Own Well-Being

Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed a peculiar doctrine—one that insists life isn’t about happiness. That joy is fleeting, shallow, even selfish. That suffering is the higher road, the more righteous posture. But is it?

This exercise is designed to help you examine the fruit of this belief in your own life. It’s not about proving anyone wrong—it’s about reclaiming the truth of what is actually serving you.

Step 1: Question the Root

Take a deep breath. Settle into yourself for a moment. Now ask:

Who first told me that my happiness didn’t matter?
Where did I learn that my needs should always come second—or last?
Who benefits when I believe that suffering is the highest virtue?
Have I mistaken exhaustion for devotion?
Have I been more committed to enduring than to thriving?

Write down anything that comes up, without judgment.

Step 2: Examine the Fruit

The Bible says, “By their fruits, you shall know them.” If a belief is true and good, it should produce good fruit. Let’s examine the fruit of this belief in your life.

What has been the result of believing that my happiness is unimportant?
How has my body responded to a lifetime of self-denial? (Fatigue? Stress? Chronic illness?)
Has this belief led me to a life of peace and fulfillment, or one of burnout and depletion?
Has believing that suffering is noble made me a more loving person, or a more resentful one?
What has my relationship with money looked like as a result of this belief? Do I welcome abundance, or do I subconsciously reject it?
Have I avoided pleasure, joy, or ease because I thought they were dangerous or indulgent?
Have I ever glorified "barely getting by" as a spiritual badge of honor?
Have I been waiting until heaven to be whole?

Again, write down what comes up. Be honest with yourself.

Step 3: Who is This God?

Now, let’s take it a step further.

If we have been conditioned to believe that suffering is righteous, that our life is not our own, and that we must suffer—
Who does that belief system truly serve?

If God is love, why would He take pleasure in our pain?
If God is a father, why would He demand we remain small, broken, and lacking?
If Jesus came to set the captives free, why have we created a theology that chains us to suffering?
Does a god who requires sacrifice sound more like the Divine… or the ancient deities who demanded blood for power?
Have we confused the God of life with the gods of death?

What if the greatest sacrifice was already made—not so we could continue suffering, but so we could step into the fullness of life?

What if the divine was never asking for your depletion, only your presence?

What if righteousness was not about how much you endure, but how much you live?